Authentic

I want to revisit my poem that I wrote in my first blog post. I want to let you in on the ramblings and never ending conversation that goes on in my brain and talk about my future. You see, the ocean in my poem represents fear, but also opportunity. I love the ocean, I love sitting on the beach and looking into the never ending expanse before you. I love being hot and sweaty with sand all over and being able to run and jump into an oncoming wave, which washes you clean and allows your body to start adapting to the new temperature. As the current moves you, you get a new feeling of freshness, of starting over, your atmosphere has changed, the land that once was at your feet is no longer there, it's harder to get to where you want to go. Another observation, it takes all of you to jump in. You can't just throw an arm or a leg into the ocean and expect to get the same sensation. You could just stand on the shore and let the water brush over your feet, but in my poem, I jumped in. I left the dock that I was sitting on, the safety and security that comes with sitting and being comfortable, enjoying the scenery without immersing myself in it.

For the past 26 years of my life, I have been willing and content to sit on the dock and enjoy the scenery. To take what God has given me, be thankful and then move on with my life. I never dreamed that I would actually just jump in, I thought that I would wade in the water, get my feet wet and just have the comfort of knowing that I am safe. That God has all things in control and I would just be content in that knowledge. But, today I tell you, I am jumping in. As I put in my poem, I can feel authenticity, and that's what I am looking for. I want it to be real, I have found lots of things in this world that aren't real and its time to go for it. As mewithoutyou (a band that I have grown to enjoy) puts it:

"I don't know anything about truth,
but I know falsehood when I see it,
and it looks like this whole world you've made"

Today is real, and tomorrow has more authenticity than the day before. Each time I throw myself into God, the more truth I get. It's not easy, and that's an understatement. God doesn't promise easy, he promises life and life abundant, which is what I want and need. I can absolutely say that today is more life giving than a lot of my days prior and I can say without hesitating that tomorrow and the years to come will be more life giving than today. You have to understand that the term "life giving" doesn't mean an easy existence in this world. When you find life, you will know it and then you will start to live it. Actually, it looks a lot like love, because love can grow and transform who you are.