Short blog post

As thoughts from the past rush into my mind and try to disrupt the heavenly thinking that should be going on, and then my emotions take them over and feelings start to explode in my inmost being, my first reaction, as to most things is to ask questions. Sometimes those questions take me deeper into depressing thoughts and other times they lead to more questions. And as I fight for the answer, trying to distinguish whats coming from myself and whats coming from the evil one, it can lead my mind into a spiral of confusion. In this world of fast paced living and usually a faster paced mind which can take in the world around us in stunning time, we can get caught up in this circular motion of thoughts that can be difficult to come out of. When we finally decide to take a step back, and my step looks like this: I ask Father to silence the enemy James 4:7 "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" and then ask Him to silence my own thoughts. You see, I want to walk like Jesus walked and the reason Jesus could do all the things He did was because He listened to His Father. The other reason was because He knew the devil's schemes, something that we should not be unaware of. So, in a simple little prayer we get to hear from our Heavenly Father and we get to figure out and have some more insight on what the devil is trying to do. Try this in those times when your mind is fast paced and you know you need Father's perspective/peace/love/grace etc...

"Daddy God, please silence my own thoughts, I want to know your heart and what your saying about this situation. Please silence the enemy in Jesus name, I submit to you Jesus and resist the devil. Allow my thoughts to align to yours and speak so that I may know your voice."

And then listen! We often forget the listening portion of prayer, we fill it with so many words that sometimes its hard for us to hear what God really wants to say. I recommend a quieter place to listen, but with all the craziness in our lives we can learn to hear God in our business :)

Listening

With the impending doom of my future ahead of me (sarcasm), and so many people asking the "what's next?" question, I thought I would write a blog post to share my ideas, thoughts and feelings about the issue of my future. This question seems to come up anywhere in the world you go, for some strange reason I thought if I went to another country I could escape this question, and, to be completely honest I don't know if I was trying to escape it from myself or the people asking me. Either way its always there, that is, the future is still ahead of me and people seem to be very interested in it. It makes sense, and is a completely logical question to ask someone who just got back from a "missionary" type experience, actually its a fine question to ask anyone who's future is unknown (isn't that everyone? =).

So, at least for the time being, here is my answer. I hope that it doesn't seem like a "cop-out" answer, I certainly don't think of it like that, but to each his own.

Future, the always changing, always unknown and honestly the fear of many people will be an ever present danger to our thinking, if we allow it be. In "our" world (I say this because the USA/Northern Virginia area is very unique to a lot of other parts of the world) we must have an answer to this "difficult" question in our life. There needs to be an option, usually a good option as long as we justify it as "good" in our minds, to increase our current situation, we must build something, or do something that can be put on a resume.  PLEASE don't misunderstand what I'm saying. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THOSE THINGS!!!!! I applaud anyone that puts hard work into something and can proudly stand on that work, but there is something in our thinking that I believe needs to change and I certainly cannot do it. I think we need to start asking and talking to Jesus first, as in, before we do anything else. We need to ask what He thinks about the things in our life, our plans, future etc... and then "take a chance" and do what He says. I have no doubt that the things we can come up with by ourselves will be somewhat successful, or even have God's blessing upon them. Jesus loves us enough to get behind our plans even when we don't consult Him first about it. But, our whole life can change if we start to listen to Jesus, and not just listen, but actually obey what He says. When in doubt, go back to Scripture, Jesus spoke 2,000 years ago and whatever He said then is our truth for today, but I know He is always speaking and will honor our listening ears. My consistent prayer is from what He kept telling His disciples, "Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear."

So, daddy God, please let us have ears to hear you, open our minds to things you want to do and then give us confidence to obey what you say.

So, after a long explanation, my future is this: I will continue to pursue and listen to Jesus with everything I have and I am trusting that He knows exactly what I will be doing in the future. In the meantime, I will bring His Kingdom to the earth, and it's so much fun! I love it! Jesus is sooo good! =)

Back in the good ole U.S. of A.

I'm back! And now that I'm over my jet lagged mind and my body has caught up to the day/night flow of the time difference from Australia to the US I thought it would be good to update all of you on a little of my life.

As I sit here and look at the white powdery stuff that has lightly fallen on to my neighborhood I can't help to be a little overwhelmed. Thinking about the past 6 months is like trying to stop an oncoming train with a rubber band, it just won't stop, and I think that's the point. This life never really stops and it certainly doesn't go into slow motion like the movies portray. You know when there is a really intense moment in a movie and the main characters slow down, or sometimes everything else around them slow down? Well, real life isn't like that. It just keeps coming and no matter how many rubber bands you have, your thoughts/friends/events/church and everything in between is just kind of there. And with all the support of all the people around me I am so thankful, so absolutely blessed for all of you and I couldn't think of any other people to be sharing my life with than you. But, (of course there's a BUT) you see my perspective on life has changed since being away. I no longer see things the way many people in our world do, I have been consistently asking God to change my mind on things, to allow me to see the world the way He does. And I think, actually I know, that He is slowly answering my prayer. Even though this season of my life has not been the easiest (actually that's an understatement), Father is teaching me some valuable lessons about His Kingdom, about His church and about the people that are all around me that He so desperately loves.

That last statement is exactly the point. It's HIS Kingdom and HIS church, it can't be and never will be my kingdom or my church. The more and more I get to know Jesus, the more and more I just love people, and it goes for the church as well. Even though there are things that may upset me about church in general, it isn't mine, it has to be His. Over my time in Australia and India I got to encounter many different people, religions, cultures and much more and through all of it I have come to the conclusion that Jesus loves them all. And because Jesus loves me, you and everyone else in the world, my job is to do the exact same. I have to meet people exactly where they're at and love them, because Jesus does. What's amazing, and awesome, is that the more I have relationship with Father, the more I just fall in love with the people around me, He gives me the compassion and then I just do what He is doing, which is to love the person that's next to me.

Thanks for reading! Much more to come later :)

Here's a couple more photo's from my time in India:

Our group performing a "Jesus" skit in an Indian village

People watching the skit

India!!!

Hey guys!

I'm going to try and explain to you what has happened over the past 6 weeks as my team and I have traveled from Darjeeling (Northern India) to Pondicherry (Southern India). Here's my explanation in a couple words: You know what you consider normal? I had to forget all of it and start over.   :)

India was crazy! But so amazing. We first arrived in Kalkutta, a very large Indian city where the sights, the sounds, the driving and the smells were completely foreign to all of us. We took a 10 hour train ride overnight to a jeep that took us up into the Himalayan foothills of Darjeeling. It was one of the craziest driving experiences ever! From cows, goats and monkeys in the middle of the road, to driving very fast on the edge of a cliff, we made it safely. The views in the mountains were AMAZING. On clear days we were staring at the 3rd largest mountain in the world (Kangchenjunga). We took a 12K hike (7.5miles) uphill, where we walked through the clouds and saw this!

The south of India was almost like entering a whole new world compared to the north. It was filled with excitement, hard times and lots and lots of ministry. This was definitely NOT a vacation, it was a time to be stretched and allow God to work in the lives of the people around us. We joked the whole time that the terms "time off" and "plan" should not be in the dictionary. Here are a couple things I want to share with all you fine people reading, enjoy :)

Look at the day and then look at the grace for that day. Our minds try and comprehend the vastness of this earth, oceans, land and seas. And yet we can't even comprehend the amount of people on this tiny planet we call our own. While I was staring at the stars, standing on the edge of the Indian Ocean I wondered why our God comes after us, imagining the beauty of space and what it looks like from Fathers perspective. My mind was blown, again, and the rattle inside my own head needed a break from the constant motion of thoughts. From stars, to people and cultures, I wondered how life rotates like the earth and how the bigness of it all related to me. Our world is so small to what our Father sees and yet He wants to use me to change it. You see, when new experiences and craziness hits a life like mine, it tends to shake things up and then things I didn't know were there just come out. Like the times we had no idea what we were doing until we were doing it. Or when we walked into the middle of a village and had the opportunity to tell others about Jesus, the 15 house meetings we went to, the 2,000 tracks we handed out, the 10 open airs, 5 people giving their lives to Christ, the sermons I preached, the classes we taught and so much more! This is NOT NORMAL LIFE. I think Jesus is waiting for us to get out of "normality" so that He can teach us, so that our inside can be shaken and He can come in to fill it with His truth. He is waiting to teach us, to fill us with His wisdom and often times I ask for Him to teach me. But, I don't want it to be hard, I would ask "God why do I have to go all the way to India for you to teach me this?" And He says "Because you wouldn't have learned it back home." Father is looking for us to get out of our comfort zone, so that He can input His truth and His strongholds in our lives.

I have so much more to say and I am sure I will put my thoughts into blog form when I arrive back in the States. But, thank you soooo much for every bit of support (financially and prayer wise)!!! You all mean so much to me! =)

Me giving my testimony in Darjeeling.

Indian village

Jacob (one of our team members) sharing about Jesus in a village

Our team and the Indian Ocean

Learning about stillness/update from Australia

I was re-reading some of my old blog posts, just to see the journey that my mind has taken to get me where I am today. Or should I say, where God has taken me. I think I want to bring up a point that I wrote in August and expand on it. Here's what I said:

There is something about stillness. I'm not sure I can put my finger on it, but God created it for a reason and when God is given your stillness, He uses it and responds to our effort. When you ask God to quiet your mind and your heart, it allows Him to sink in. For Him to become reality, its like He reveals His kingdom not just to you, but in you. You start to become filled with His wisdom, start to live a life centered on the only one worth centering your life on. The inner transformation of your life is critical and important to God. It's where God makes His home and His Spirit advises. Stop worrying about what your going to do tomorrow, focus on turning your inside into something that IS God's.

I spent the last week in a small town of Roma, Austrlia. We stayed at a church, doing service projects, teaching Religious Education classes in the public schools for 3rd graders and leading a youth group. It was much more relaxing than the previous two weeks and we had a lot of time to spend with each other. Most mornings consisted of breakfast at 8am and then worship/prayer time from 9am-10:30. One morning we spent 15 minutes as a group in silence, just listening and waiting on the Lord. Here's what I realized in that 15 minutes devoted to silence: before I came to YWAM I was a little scared that the amount of time praying, worshiping and quiet time etc.. was going to be hard on my mind. I was afraid that I would get worn out emotionally, physically and spiritually.

HA, looking back on it I feel silly even thinking that, but I honestly think thats the way people view "religion". As an activity that takes something from them and then you just become tired and want to move onto something different in order to regain the energy you once had. This is NOT how Jesus intended it to be. He says over and over again how His burden is light and His yoke is easy (Matthew 11). And how He makes me lie down in green pastures, He wants to lead us beside quiet waters and restore our soul (Psalm 23). A quick note on the Psalm 23 passage: A lot of times people assume this means that they have to do something in order to lie down in green pastures. We insert "I" when it clearly says "HE". This week I encourage you to take some time for stillness, tell Father that you believe Him when He says HE will restore your soul and that you don't need to work for that "light burden" because He has already taken it. In essence, BELIEVE WHAT HE HAS ALREADY SAID. I think this process will start to shift our thinking and our religious mindsets as to what church/religion is really like. We should enjoy God because He enjoys being with us! =)

We also got to celebrate Thanksgiving American style in Australia! I am so thankful for the group of people I am with, I can't imagine doing this DTS with anyone else :)

 

And here's one of the beach we went to on the Great Barrier Reef :)

Update on Australia

First off: My friends Bobby and Anna are getting married today!!!! Congrats Guys! Wish I could be there!

Ahh, its been a MONTH since I have updated this blog, it's weird to think that I haven't updated the internet world on what's been happening in my life for that long. BUT, do not fear, I am alive and well and have been learning a lot. Here's a quick update:

We have been traveling around Australia to small country towns for the last three weeks. The first week we were in Tenterfield helping to complete "The Pass it on Tour". Our base traveled to 17 different towns, putting on after school events, working with local churches, teaching Scripture classes in public schools, doing service projects and having an event every night in a huge tent. The event usually consisted of worship, a talk on the Father Heart of God and lots of prayer. It was a crazy week of 70 YWAMers sleeping in a smallish room in a church, showering only once all week at a local public pool, being busy from 7am till 10pm at night, playing with children in a giant blow up soccer field and learning the local games of Australia. Although it was tiring, and it consisted of me getting sick on Friday and missing that day's activities, IT WAS SO WORTH IT. The friends we made, the impact we had and the lessons that I learned from a God that is jealous for His children was incredible. I learned to stand on God and now am starting to understand the verse "The joy of the Lord is my strength." Shout out to all the people in Tenterfield, you guys are amazing! Please know that you don't need us, God is with you all the time and is waiting for you to respond to His love. Everything that you give to Him is so worth it! :)

The next two weeks were a little less crazy, we went to Beaudesert and stayed on the floor of a Baptist church, took showers at a local primary school (1 at a time), did a lot of service projects, taught a couple  Scripture classes at a public school and then went to a couple different churches on Sunday to share a message and who we are as YWAM. This past week we went to a YWAM base in Toowoomba, AND GUESS WHAT! WE HAD BEDS AND SHOWERS! Haha, I know its not a big deal to you guys, but to us it was amazing. Waking up every day and taking a shower seemed like a new experience. Why do we need to shower every day anyways? ;)  It was a great week of lectures, our speaker (Pablo) runs a YWAM base in south Australia. His heart for people is incredible and I will be forever grateful of the time he took to teach us.

Well, that's about it, I have another blog post in the making which I will post before we leave again for 4 weeks next Saturday. Until then, may God bless you and keep you.

I am the END

The last couple days has been a whirl wind of experiences and I'm still trying to process all that has happened, but one thing I know more than anything is that God deserves all of me. I have been asking God to take me wherever He wants me, to teach and mold me into someone who can be used for His Kingdom. This is what Father God told me: Intimacy is the answer. He said "I am not a means to an end, I am the end." Whoa! Strong words and it made me re-think everything.

For the past two years I have been praying and asking God for things: freedom from sin, overcoming situations, strength, wisdom, faith, open ears to hear His voice, eyes that see the way Father sees the world etc. etc. etc. I'm not saying that these are terrible things to ask for or that we shouldn't ask, because Jesus told us to ask the Father.  Luke 11:9 "And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you" and James 1:5 "If anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him."

So, what was I missing? It wasn't like God hadn't been answering my prayers, because He had been, He was teaching me what it looks like to live a life with Him. BUT, I had been missing the point, I was always thinking about how I could go effect others or change the world for God's Kingdom. God said, "Those are good things, but don't worry about them. All I want is you, the end goal is ME." God has given me a passion to know Him and to know His Word. I just want intimacy with God, I want to wake up every morning and spend time with Father, not for answers, but just for Him. God will speak, I guarantee it, but have you ever thought to just go get coffee with God? Or spend an entire morning not saying or asking for anything? Just listening and "hanging out" with God? Talk with Him like He's right next to you, because He is right next to you :) It's amazing what He will teach you through that silence. Maybe, instead of expecting an answer to a question, God can actually say what He has wanted to say for a long time.

Be encouraged today because: Romans 8:21 "If God is for us, who can be against us?"